helena-castor:

A wise Samuel L. Jackson once said:

Go the fuck back to sleep!

mpregbert:

thebootywhisperer:

mpregbert:

A SPIDER JUST DESCENDED FROM THE CEILING AND PERCHED ITSELF ATOP MY HEAD

this is the most eloquent statement of pure terror i’ve ever read

THANK YOU

shavingryansprivates:

ingredients for girl

1 cup of sugar

2 cups of spice

1 cup of everything nice

8 gallons of bitch whore juice

palides:

untitled by thephysicalblog on Flickr.

palides:

untitled by thephysicalblog on Flickr.

mechastreisand:

examples of oxymorons

  • sweet agony
  • jumbo shrimp
  • loud silence
  • walmart choice premium steak